Hilarious Primary School Memories

Having gone to Poulton C of E, we were made to sing Jesus songs in assembly. A particular one always used to make me giggle. It was 'We have a King who rides a donkey'. Basically, it was to the tune of 'what do you do with a drunken sailor,' which, to be honest, only invites the sort of tomfoolery that I'm going to talk about. So this song went:

We have a King who rides a donkey,
We have a King who rides a donkey,
We have a King who rides a donkey,
And his name is Jesus,

Sing sing loud hosannas,
Sing sing loud hosannas,
Sing sing loud hosannas,
And his name is Jesus.

I'm sorry, but that only encourages kids like me to deviate slightly from the words. It doesn't take much of an imagination to change the above into the below:

We have a King who rides a donkey,
We have a King who rides a donkey,
We have a King who rides a donkey,
And his name is Jesus,

Stick him in the scuppers with a hose pipe on him,
Stick him in the scuppers with a hose pipe on him,
Stick him in the scuppers with a hose pipe on him,
And his name is Jesus.

God I had spare time on my hands as a child.

On a similar note, I'm trying to rewite 'Don't stop believing' about Blackpool-based DIY...

She's a south shore girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the late-night bus goin' to Homebase

he's a Cleveleys boy
raised near the co-op in Thornton
He took the late-night bus goin' to Homebase

A paint pot in isle six
Would colour-coordinate well with that kitchen from Wikes
For a tenner they can paint the house
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers fighting
Up and down the gardner's yard
Their shadows searching in the night
Homebase people
Living just to find emulsion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Hmm I'm not sure it's going all that well...comments/help would be welcome.