Shall I tell you why I have nothing to blog about? My entire life revolves around Keats, Hamlet, cake and sleep. I have no time for all the sexual escapades if the sort which certain people *ahem* seem to think are an intrinsic part of daily life. NO WAIT- I'm forgetting...for sexual stuff of any kind to happen, (let alone the athletics my theatre class apparently get up to,) I must be able to make a man aroused. Silly me!
Speaking of men becoming aroused, (or rather not, in this case) I feel I must log a certain incident of this afternoon. I know I made a big deal of it at the time, but I'm sure we'll forget it in a month or two. I feel I must add permanence to this bit of comedic gold by posting it on the Internet for all to see. You know, this is the first time I've felt embarrassed in ages. It's a big step. I feel I must write it in script form:
BETH, a veritable hulk of a girl, has just finished Mrs Wells' English Lit lesson, and is more than happy to be going home for the afternoon. She skips up to MATT BENSON with her usual air of randomnimity and spouts the first random shit that comes into her head.
BETH: MASTURBATE!
MATT BENSON: (laughs)
BETH: Oh, that sounded like an order.
MATT BENSON: Yeah, I don't tend to do it on command.
BETH: (without thinking of the implications) Oh well, think of me when you do.
And what's worse, Matt Benson might actually end up with this mess popping up in his head while he's trying to have a bit of 'me-time.' I bet I've given him some sort of complex.
Never, in my entire seventeen years on this earth, have I ever felt it necessary to use the term 'fuck my life.' Well, here I am losing my FML virginity.
FML.
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